RDF Book Club – The Mask of Masculinity

Written by Reynolds Defense Firm

On April 22, 2019

RDF Book Club – The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Best Lives

by Lewis Howes

Growing up a male in the Midwest, there are a lot of things that we were expected to do/be. One of the most prominent was tough. The rugged exterior was one of the premier measuring tools for your manhood. One of the biggest casualties to that mindset was always vulnerability.

In the The Mask of Masculinity, Lewis Howes uses his time as a professional football player (another example of the tough invulnerable expectation lifestyle) as ab example of all of the masks that men wear to hide their insecurities and their vulnerability. He helps you understand the mask you wear, how to get past it, and how to take it off forever.

While it sounds like a book for men only, and I recommend all men read it, there is a lot of information that women can get from this book as a way of understanding why men are the way they are. Out of all of the personal growth work I have ever done, this book stands out as the one that hit me with the hardest truths and helped me overcome one of my biggest setbacks in life.

Out of all the masks that Lewis describes, there was one that, I swear, was written specifically for me: the Joker Mask. As someone who has been the class clown, it was always something I had long considered a good thing.

To find out that it was a behavior that was covering some of my biggest traumas was a little alarming. He used the example of Robin Williams, a man who was renowned for making people laugh and feel joy, yet had demons beneath that we couldn’t see. When I wore this mask, I wanted nothing more than to make everyone around me feel joy and happiness. I wanted to constantly make them laugh and feel the opposite of the feelings I was experiencing. Obviously, avoiding or ignoring my feelings was always going to be destructive, but removing my mask and discovering how those feelings have been festering for two decades was one of the most emotional processes of my life.

Written By Mark McKee


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Mark McKee is one of Reynolds Defense Firm’s Liaisons.  He is fantastic at making personal connections with our potential clients, while helping to reduce their anxiety about the legal process. Mark brings with him 6 years of customer service and management experience in the retail industry and is happy to have made the transition to the legal industry to assist those who need him the most. Mark sees his role at RDF as helping clients to manage life’s expectations when dealing with a DUI arrest.  He always aims to make their experience with our firm one that inspires.  Window of Clarity is a scientifically-validated program that helps others take charge of their lives by making positive, lasting changes.  For more about the Window of Clarity Program, visit www.windowofclarity.com.


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